Starting 2015 with a Positive Energy

Happy New Year’s everyone! I can’t believe 2015 is here. I’m 24, about to be 25 in a few months, and learning to appreciate my age and experience. When I was a teenager, I dreamt of being in my mid-20s. I would sit and daydream about how life would be. I won’t lie; I loved Friends because it showed just how life could be in your mid-20s and later. 2014 was an interesting year for me. I stopped writing for a bit because stress got to me. The summer and fall were crazy busy for me as picked up additional responsibilities at work. Other personal stress also affected my balance and happiness. After all this blog, is not only about finances, but, also about managing life, and to some extent family. Family…I’m not even sure how to tackle this subject without going down a depressing road, but I think it’s important for people to understand the struggle.

Family – I’m Mexican. I was raised by conservative, Mexican immigrant parents. Culture has always been a challenge with us. Even though I do understand my Mexican heritage, I speak Spanish fluently and I am caught up on current events in Latin America, I am an outsider. I was raised in the United States and thus, picked up a lot of American customs. My marriage to an American has strained the relationship with my parents. Furthermore, as I progress in improving my life, resentment has set in with my parents. I am, in their eyes, leaving them behind. Without getting mean and bashing on any events, this is the best I can come up with at the moment. Unfortunately, their actions due to this fear that they are losing me have caused a break in our relationship. This saddens me because I had tried extremely hard to put a focus on family ever since graduating school. At this point, I can’t do a lot. My parents and I and hubby are taking a break until further notice. I refused to be defined by any culture. I refused to be boxed in just because of my heritage. I am intelligent enough to take the best out of many cultures and lifestyles and apply it to my life. The hope is one day my parents will understand this. One day they will understand that I am doing my best to have my definition of a healthy, happy life; my choices, my consequences, my life. Once they understand and accept me for who I am, our relationship will begin to improve. Until that point, we will continue to be unhappy in our interactions. They will wish their daughter to be different, and I will wish for them to accept me for who I am. It has taken many months of tears and heartbreak. There has been a crack building for quite some time and finally the fissure erupted. It’s going to be hard, especially as birthdays and holidays come up, but I have to stand my ground. This is about my identity and finally being accepted for who I am. I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. It doesn’t work. I write this with acceptance. I hope my story can help those who are facing similar challenges.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.-

Reinhold Niebuhr

I’m starting 2015 with a new found energy and momentum. I want to appreciate life’s precious moments. I need to find my inner happiness so I can radiate it and infect other people with happiness. It’s a challenge especially since life seems to throw a lot of negative feedback at you, but life is good. I have to thank my husband for providing light hearted wisdom and constantly repeating to me the little things don’t matter in life, so let them go.  Finally, I want to stop being afraid. Fear halts you from progressing; it paralyzes and leaves you stranded.

2015 will be about accepting me, being happy, and letting go of the little stuff.

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11 comments

  • Sorry to hear about the family issues. It can strain more than just your relationship with your parents, but also your marriage. Glad to hear you are finding your own way and staying positive – which in my mind if the best path. Good luck!
    Elroy recently posted…[Un]Fine FurnitureMy Profile

  • Family… sigh. Speaking from experience… If you need it, therapy helps. And sometimes cutting off most contact is the best you can hope for.
    Mrs. PoP recently posted…Happy Friday – A Happy ComplicationMy Profile

  • It is unfortunate that your parents cannot accept you and be happy for you. When I got married, I still valued friend’s and family’s opinions and my wife hated that. It took me a while to figure out that when you get married, your spouse needs to be #1. As long as your spouse is not disrespectful to your family, however. In that respect, your family should not be disrespectful of your spouse. Seems like such a simple thing, respect, but not everyone is capable of it.

    In the meantime, just work on being awesome and cross your fingers that family will come to accept and respect the awesome person you are :)

  • Take it from a Haitian girl who was born but not raised in Haiti. No only is my husband not Haitian, he isn’t even american. He’s a white guy from Britain with a weird accent to my parents. My parents feel like I’m leaving them behind and my siblings think that I think I’m better than them. I’m not. But I can’t stay in a place where negativity is killing who I am. So 5 years ago, I packed my bags, went to Britain married the man of my dreams and haven’t spoken to my family. I can’t box myself into who you want me to be. I need to live my own life. Period with out without my family. So yea, I understand.

    • Wow Tamara! I feel for you because I understand what you are going through. It was hard to open up because I didn’t want to flood the internet world with negativity, but I’m sort of glad I’m not the only one. As bad as that sounds. Hang in there, keep doing what makes you happy, right?

  • Take it from a Haitian girl who was born but not raised in Haiti. Not only is my husband not Haitian, he isn’t even american. He’s a white guy from Britain with a weird accent to my parents. My parents feel like I’m leaving them behind and my siblings think that I think I’m better than them. I’m not. But I can’t stay in a place where negativity is killing who I am. So 5 years ago, I packed my bags, went to Britain married the man of my dreams and haven’t spoken to my family. I can’t box myself into who you want me to be. I need to live my own life. Period with out without my family. So yea, I understand.

  • Thanks for sharing your story and opening up about something so personal. As a fellow blogger I know it isn’t always easy to talk about personal things online, but it also feels good to get thoughts out in writing and to get support from readers. Writing has helped me many times when I’ve been struggling with personal, work, and family issues. And I bet there’s someone out there who knows exactly how you’re feeling, and you sharing your thoughts not only helps yourself heal, but it also helps that person know they aren’t alone.

    Gosh family stuff is just so incredibly hard. My mother is an immigrant and although I don’t have the same situation as you, there have been times when she’ll say things like “well you don’t understand because you’re American” and although I don’t think she intends to hurt me, it does. It’s not my fault I was born here, and it’s not my fault that I am the way I am, and it’s not my fault that I like the way certain things are done here versus in her country.

    I’m stressed about a lot of things myself right now, but I’m just trying to keep my sanity and persevere through by telling myself I just gotta keep trying my and tackle one thing at a time. I can’t make everyone else happy, but I can control if I myself am happy.

    Hang in there girl. Listen to your gut and do what you need to do. We can’t pick our families, and sometimes we have to make hard decisions. We just gotta roll with the punches and keep on going.

    – Sydney
    Untemplater recently posted…Striving For Early Retirement May Silently Kill YouMy Profile

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