Happy New Year’s everyone! I can’t believe 2015 is here. I’m 24, about to be 25 in a few months, and learning to appreciate my age and experience. When I was a teenager, I dreamt of being in my mid-20s. I would sit and daydream about how life would be. I won’t lie; I loved Friends because it showed just how life could be in your mid-20s and later. 2014 was an interesting year for me. I stopped writing for a bit because stress got to me. The summer and fall were crazy busy for me as picked up additional responsibilities at work. Other personal stress also affected my balance and happiness. After all this blog, is not only about finances, but, also about managing life, and to some extent family. Family…I’m not even sure how to tackle this subject without going down a depressing road, but I think it’s important for people to understand the struggle.
Family – I’m Mexican. I was raised by conservative, Mexican immigrant parents. Culture has always been a challenge with us. Even though I do understand my Mexican heritage, I speak Spanish fluently and I am caught up on current events in Latin America, I am an outsider. I was raised in the United States and thus, picked up a lot of American customs. My marriage to an American has strained the relationship with my parents. Furthermore, as I progress in improving my life, resentment has set in with my parents. I am, in their eyes, leaving them behind. Without getting mean and bashing on any events, this is the best I can come up with at the moment. Unfortunately, their actions due to this fear that they are losing me have caused a break in our relationship. This saddens me because I had tried extremely hard to put a focus on family ever since graduating school. At this point, I can’t do a lot. My parents and I and hubby are taking a break until further notice. I refused to be defined by any culture. I refused to be boxed in just because of my heritage. I am intelligent enough to take the best out of many cultures and lifestyles and apply it to my life. The hope is one day my parents will understand this. One day they will understand that I am doing my best to have my definition of a healthy, happy life; my choices, my consequences, my life. Once they understand and accept me for who I am, our relationship will begin to improve. Until that point, we will continue to be unhappy in our interactions. They will wish their daughter to be different, and I will wish for them to accept me for who I am. It has taken many months of tears and heartbreak. There has been a crack building for quite some time and finally the fissure erupted. It’s going to be hard, especially as birthdays and holidays come up, but I have to stand my ground. This is about my identity and finally being accepted for who I am. I’m tired of pretending to be someone I’m not. It doesn’t work. I write this with acceptance. I hope my story can help those who are facing similar challenges.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.-
I’m starting 2015 with a new found energy and momentum. I want to appreciate life’s precious moments. I need to find my inner happiness so I can radiate it and infect other people with happiness. It’s a challenge especially since life seems to throw a lot of negative feedback at you, but life is good. I have to thank my husband for providing light hearted wisdom and constantly repeating to me the little things don’t matter in life, so let them go. Finally, I want to stop being afraid. Fear halts you from progressing; it paralyzes and leaves you stranded.
2015 will be about accepting me, being happy, and letting go of the little stuff.